When the festivities are over and a new year has begun,
it's time to shed the greyness and have a little fun.
The first month maybe SAD but it also is a hoot
because in Scotland, it starts the haggis shoot.

Now this bonnie beastie, is quite shy and lives on hills
it's breeding's quite prolific, (it's never heard of pills).
It's small, and round with a tail - and a little snout
it's sight and hearing is superb and that's without a doubt.

You stalk the haggis carefully, one move will see them scurry
you take your time and quietly wait, no need for you to hurry
the culling of the haggis has become a national sport
not yet banned by parliament, nor in the news report.

To disguise this whole event was thought to be quite hard
'till thanks to Rabbie Burns, known as our national bard,
and now the annual shoot, there is no need to scupper
hence the lesser known history of the Burns's Supper.

The haggis held with all due honour, as befits the beast.
It proudly makes it the main attraction of this feast
piped in with pomp and style, and with great ovation
await savouring each tasty bite, with anticipation.

Many, many moons ago, the haggis was quite happy
'till huntsmen came along and chased this little chappy
they soon learned that haggis was a tasty bite
so they hid away in daytime only coming out at night.

The haggis is quite clever, and they devised a plan
which would confuse the hunter, since he was merely man.
Some ran round the mountain, running left to right
some went round the other way, they did this most the night.

Evolution then stepped in and changed this little breed
since running round the mountain, they ran at quite a speed
if you look closely at a haggis, you will see their little legs
on one side they are longer and the other, little pegs.

Depending on which way they ran, whether right or left
determines which side is the shorter, which side is bereft
now there are two species and alas they cannot breed
to complete the breeding process, it's equal legs they need.

It is indeed quite sad to learn, these species cannot mate
they'd fall off the mountain and both would meet their fate.
Their hair is long and shaggy, to keep out winter chills
and can hide amongst the heather, safe from raptor's bills.

Now capturing the haggis, is a skill that few possess
so fresh meat on the table is getting less and less.
It's taken years to shield them from men's hunting sins
that's why you see the haggis, now on shelves - in tins.

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